Top 10 things NOT to do as a tourist in New York City

As someone who lives and works in New York City, I firmly believe that a set of rules, or guidelines, should be handed out on all arriving flights into Newark, JFK, and LaGuardia. I understand that people visiting don't know any better, but tourists annoy the hell out of us and if we could supply some simple tips, maybe our lives, and their visits can be more successful.

Below is my contribution to what this NYC Tourist guideline pamphlet might look like:

1) Don't stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Unreal as it may sound, even though you're on vacation, everyone in NY doesn't stop working for the week. We have places to go and we don't like wasting any time getting there. This is really the most simple rule. Be aware of the people around you and make sure not to get in our freaking way.

2) Don't stop in the middle of the sidewalk. (yes, it's important enough to mention twice). Yes, the buildings are big....stare from somewhere else.

3) Don't casually stroll down the middle of the sidewalk. If you want to move slowly, move to the side, or be prepared for a very rude "excuse me" and people pushing you out of the way.

4) Don't walk with your entire family side by side. I know you all want to walk together, but generally, walking together breaks rules 1-3 and pisses off everyone trying to use the same sidewalk as you.

5) Stay to the right on the escalator if you plan on just standing there. The left side is for walking up and down the escalator. If you plan on standing on the left, be prepared for a very rude "excuse me" or the homeless man on 53th and 5th to yell at you while he tells sexist jokes.

6) Don't stop at the top of the escalator. Amazingly, even when you get off, the escalator continues to move and other people need to get off.

7) Don't stop at the top of the subway stairs. I know you're lost, but I'm not, so move the hell out of my way.

8) Instead of just yelling two street names at me, try asking me politely for directions.

9) Don't go out to eat in Times Square. If you do, be prepared for an expensive shitty meal. Eating at the Red Lobster in Times Square does not equal fine dining in NYC...even if you do have lobster.

10) Don't think that New Yorkers are rude because of these rules. Chances are, you don't live in a place where tourists come which means you have NO idea how annoying it really is. Maybe next week I'll come to your city and drive 2 miles an hour in front of you during your entire commute to work. Then maybe you'll know what it's like having your entire family block the sidewalk on my way to work.

11) Make sure to come back real soon! We love having you here!