Kiss My Ass Dunkin Donuts

This has bothered me for a while, but I'm a little bored, so I figured I'd take this opportunity to rant about Dunkin Donuts.

Does Dunkin Donuts believe that since they're food and coffee are just so amazingly good that they can have the world's dumbest people working there and the customers will just keep coming back anyway? Has anyone else noticed this? ANYONE?!

Pet Peeve number 1: Why do they ask me what I want when they're never going to remember in the first place??!?!?

Dunkin Donuts Employee: "CAN I HELP NEXT PLEASE!" (no, that's not a typo, that's what they say)
Me: "Hello, can I please have a toasted whole wheat bagel with egg and cheese please?"
DDE: "Sure"
(as they reach for the plain bagel)
Me: "Excuse Me! I said whole wheat, not plain"
DDE: "No sir, you said plain"
Me: (in disbelief) "Fine, then i'd like to change it. Can I please have whole wheat"
DDE: "And what do you want on it?"
Me: "I'm thinking the same thing I asked for originally. Egg and Cheese please"

Now, this is my favorite part. Peering over the counter to try and watch so if they start to fuck up, you can catch it early. Oh yea...insert Jeopardy music here while you wait and wait and wait.

DDE: "Whole wheat bagel with cream cheese!! Whole wheat bagel with cream cheese!! Who ordered a whole wheat bagel with cream cheese?!?!?"
Me: "Um, I ordered whole wheat with egg and cheese?"
DDE: "Not a whole with with cream cheese?"
Me: "No, like I've said twice now...whole wheat with egg and cheese."
DDE: "ok, sorry, one minute"

Now, that's just one example!! I used to go to dunkin donuts EVERYDAY before work, an at least 3 times a week that would happen. I mean, how is that possible?!

Another thing that really chaps my ass is their lack of knowledge in regards to english muffins. Does anyone out there eat their english muffin without toasting it?! anyone?!?!? THEN WHY DO I HAVE TO ASK THEM TO TOAST MY ENGLISH MUFFIN?!!? Last time I was there, I ordered an egg and cheese sandwich on an english muffin. After getting my order, I opened the bag (see example number 1 for reasons why I always check my order before leaving) and notice that my sandwich isn't hot...it's not even warm. So, I open the wrapping only to notice that my english muffin isn't toasted. GREAT!

Me: "Excuse me. You didn't toast my english muffin"
DDE: "You didn't ask for it to be toasted"

WHAT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!? Who DOESN'T toast their english muffin?! So now, everytime I order an english muffin, I have to ask for them to toast it. And just a little advice? chances are they're going to have to put it thru the toaster again because it will NOT be toasted after one time thru.

Now, many other things can happen while at Dunkin Donuts that'll really chap your ass, but this last one really gets to me. Now, I guess it would just be too much work for them, but some Dunkin Donuts won't put sugar, sweet n low, or anything like that in your coffee because they leave it on the side for you to do yourself. Issue 1 with this: WHY ARE THEY NOT DOING THIS FOR ME?!!?? You're making me coffee and that's part of the process. SO DO IT YOUR-FUCKING-SELF!

Issue 2 with this...they never tell you until AFTER that you have to do it yourself. So, when you go up and ask for a coffee with cream and two sweet n low, they just kind of nod at you as if to say,"No problem". When you get your coffee and take that first sip, you of course notice that there's no sweet n low in your coffe (of course, you think back to issue one and figure they were just stupid and didn't get your order right). So you say to them,"Excuse me, I don't think there's any sweet n low in here." And they inevitably respond with "Sweet n low is on the side, you have to do it yourself"

YOU BASTARD!!! Don't you think that this happens like 90 times a day at these Dunkin Donuts? Don't you think they'd at least have a sign or something that said "Do it yourself sweetners on the side". Or maybe when I asked for cream and two sweet n low she could respond with,"I'm sorry, you have to do the sweet n low yourself on the side" But NO! She just smiles and nods knowing that she won't be putting any sweet n low in. I hate you.

So Dunkin Donuts, how bout you get your fucknig act together. Because if you don't, not only will I kill every employee that fucks up my order, I may just start going there once a day instead of twice a day.


Ok, I know I've been slacking with the blog, but 1) I've been busy and 2) Just haven't had much to write about. I guess I can do more of those features, but to be honest, the only ones that i've gotten recently just haven't been that good. I'm thinking about doing features and picking my favorites...but that's just so much more work than having someone else write it...although it looks like my only choice.

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