This comes directly from an instant message convo:
now that brett favre has been outed as a huge doucheface, i can't wait till someone tears down lance armstrong
1) lets see... he got cancer, his wife stood by him. he got rich popular and famous, and dumped her ass.
2) for the first 6 months or so that the live strong bracelets were being sold, the money didn't go to cancer research. where did it go?
3) he fucked an olsen twin.
4) let me get this straight. he won the tour de france without performance enhancers, and yet, the last 3 years multiple riders (and one winner) have been caught using performance enhancers, and had worse times than he did?
5) he's a texan, and he rides a bike.
6) he's like ricky bobby. he pretty much only won because of how good his team is, but they never seem to win stages, and they aren't famous and probably aren't rich
7) he did a horrible job hosting SNL.
8) he made the media shove cycling down my throat. no one cares about bike riding.
9) did i mention that he probably did performance enhancers, and is lucky he never got caught?
10) he got famous using our money. for the last 4 races, he was sponsored by the United States Postal Service. where does the postal service get its money?
Let's see what he comes up with next!
8/5/08
Top 10 Reasons Why Lance Armstrong is a Douchebag by Crazy Carl
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
16 comments:
what a shame anyone uses their energy against someone else like you have. your facts are wrong and your attitude is narcissistic.
Holy Christ!
Lance Armstrong & an Olsen twin?!
Sometimes I wish I actually read this celeb BS news more..
That's crazy.
Haha, I am sick of Lance Armstrong. I googled "Lance Armstrong" and "douche" and was taken to this blog. Nice work!
I agree. Lance is a total douche bag. Can't stand the jerk.
I will give you an 11th reason:
Lance Armstrong sues animal group over yellow wristbands.
news.yahoo.com — WASHINGTON (AFP) - The Lance Armstrong Foundation set up by the former Tour de France champion to battle cancer is suing an animal charity over dog and cat collars which resemble its yellow wristbands.
What a fucking douchebag!
12th & 13th Reasons:
He's trying to push a statewide smoking ban in Texas. Freedom of choice! We don't need anymore governmental nanny-ing.
For someone who's so "concerned" with the environment (i.e., clean air), he uses 300,000+ gallons of water a month for his luxurious Spanish mansion here in Austin...
Sit & spin, Lance...sit & spin.
Yeah and when Sheryl Crow got cancer, he dumped her ass. AND he's an ugly little fucker.
he is no one special the only reason he beat cancer is because of his money, he is no hero the real heroes are the single moms with cancer that cant afford medical care and are working 2 jobs trying to provide a life for their children lance armstrong is a deuschbag
You can have a few new reasons:
Armstrong sues an animal advocacy group for using the color yellow on their charity bracelet. The Douche owns Yellow.
Armstrong breaks up with Crowe on the reason she wanted kids (although it was about the cancer she had being a downer), but then knocks up a woman months later.
He also does the "you'll never work in this town again" to waiters and bar bouncers.
http://austinist.com/2008/02/04/lance_throws_hi.php
http://www.goodbadjuicy.com/horrible-music-and-the-balless-wonder-collide
a few years later and he's still goin strong.
and whoever said what a shame...blah blah blah, needs to go back to church and do something daring and fun, like get high!
UMMM, first of all, he hadn't even met his wife when he was diagnosed with cancer. It wasn't until he started LIVEstrong that he met her, and FYI the US Postal Service is not owned by the government, which is why they can sponsor him.
Oh, and he was CONSTANTLY tested for performance enhancing drugs after every stage of every Tour. Maybe you should do a little research before you go and slander a man whom you do not know, and are obviously jealous of. I would recommend reading his book.
PS I bet you didn't know that by the time he was diagnosed with cancer, it had reached stage 3 and spread to his brain. Oh yeah, then he went on to win the Tour de France de France SEVEN times. Maybe you should put your effort into something maybe infinitesimally smaller then that, if that wouldn't be too hard for you
People who defend Lance Armstrong are sheep. Sure, he did a couple of impressive things, but he also has some serious character flaws. Why is so important that they stop us from crticizing him, anyway? Surely they don't feel threatened by us? Also the "jealousy" argument is just so tired and has very little basis in fact.
Another reason:
His mother profited from him by writing a book called: No Mountain High Enough: Raising Lance, Raising Me.
I have my own Top 10 (some are similar):
1. His wife stood by him while he battled cancer. He recovers then promptly dumps her.
2. Sponsored by the US Postal Service. Say no more.
3. Dated an Olsen twin. Say no more.
4. Advocates for "cyclist rights." Cyclists already have too many rights! (no license, no registration, ignore traffic rules, etc.)
5. Likes to jog shirtless with Matthew McConaughey. This may thrill the ladies, but for us guys, this qualifies him as a Class A douche.
5. He just looks like a douche.
6. Enough of those damn bracelets!
7. Douches worldwide idolize him.
8. He lied about performance enhancing drugs and everybody knows it.
9. He's a corporate whore.
10. He's a famous for being a cyclist
Yep, Lance Armstrong really is a fucking prick.
Thank you. Lance Armstrong really is a fucking prick.
Post a Comment