Kiss My Ass Dunkin Donuts

This has bothered me for a while, but I'm a little bored, so I figured I'd take this opportunity to rant about Dunkin Donuts.

Does Dunkin Donuts believe that since they're food and coffee are just so amazingly good that they can have the world's dumbest people working there and the customers will just keep coming back anyway? Has anyone else noticed this? ANYONE?!

Pet Peeve number 1: Why do they ask me what I want when they're never going to remember in the first place??!?!?

Dunkin Donuts Employee: "CAN I HELP NEXT PLEASE!" (no, that's not a typo, that's what they say)
Me: "Hello, can I please have a toasted whole wheat bagel with egg and cheese please?"
DDE: "Sure"
(as they reach for the plain bagel)
Me: "Excuse Me! I said whole wheat, not plain"
DDE: "No sir, you said plain"
Me: (in disbelief) "Fine, then i'd like to change it. Can I please have whole wheat"
DDE: "And what do you want on it?"
Me: "I'm thinking the same thing I asked for originally. Egg and Cheese please"

Now, this is my favorite part. Peering over the counter to try and watch so if they start to fuck up, you can catch it early. Oh yea...insert Jeopardy music here while you wait and wait and wait.

DDE: "Whole wheat bagel with cream cheese!! Whole wheat bagel with cream cheese!! Who ordered a whole wheat bagel with cream cheese?!?!?"
Me: "Um, I ordered whole wheat with egg and cheese?"
DDE: "Not a whole with with cream cheese?"
Me: "No, like I've said twice now...whole wheat with egg and cheese."
DDE: "ok, sorry, one minute"

Now, that's just one example!! I used to go to dunkin donuts EVERYDAY before work, an at least 3 times a week that would happen. I mean, how is that possible?!

Another thing that really chaps my ass is their lack of knowledge in regards to english muffins. Does anyone out there eat their english muffin without toasting it?! anyone?!?!? THEN WHY DO I HAVE TO ASK THEM TO TOAST MY ENGLISH MUFFIN?!!? Last time I was there, I ordered an egg and cheese sandwich on an english muffin. After getting my order, I opened the bag (see example number 1 for reasons why I always check my order before leaving) and notice that my sandwich isn't hot...it's not even warm. So, I open the wrapping only to notice that my english muffin isn't toasted. GREAT!

Me: "Excuse me. You didn't toast my english muffin"
DDE: "You didn't ask for it to be toasted"

WHAT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!? Who DOESN'T toast their english muffin?! So now, everytime I order an english muffin, I have to ask for them to toast it. And just a little advice? chances are they're going to have to put it thru the toaster again because it will NOT be toasted after one time thru.

Now, many other things can happen while at Dunkin Donuts that'll really chap your ass, but this last one really gets to me. Now, I guess it would just be too much work for them, but some Dunkin Donuts won't put sugar, sweet n low, or anything like that in your coffee because they leave it on the side for you to do yourself. Issue 1 with this: WHY ARE THEY NOT DOING THIS FOR ME?!!?? You're making me coffee and that's part of the process. SO DO IT YOUR-FUCKING-SELF!

Issue 2 with this...they never tell you until AFTER that you have to do it yourself. So, when you go up and ask for a coffee with cream and two sweet n low, they just kind of nod at you as if to say,"No problem". When you get your coffee and take that first sip, you of course notice that there's no sweet n low in your coffe (of course, you think back to issue one and figure they were just stupid and didn't get your order right). So you say to them,"Excuse me, I don't think there's any sweet n low in here." And they inevitably respond with "Sweet n low is on the side, you have to do it yourself"

YOU BASTARD!!! Don't you think that this happens like 90 times a day at these Dunkin Donuts? Don't you think they'd at least have a sign or something that said "Do it yourself sweetners on the side". Or maybe when I asked for cream and two sweet n low she could respond with,"I'm sorry, you have to do the sweet n low yourself on the side" But NO! She just smiles and nods knowing that she won't be putting any sweet n low in. I hate you.

So Dunkin Donuts, how bout you get your fucknig act together. Because if you don't, not only will I kill every employee that fucks up my order, I may just start going there once a day instead of twice a day.


Ryann said...

I have the opposite problem at Tim Hortons. I only have 2 minutes between buses so I usually grab a blueberry bagel on my way though.

Although technically I prefer it toasted - I just don't have time for them to toast it. Unfortunately tryinng to get a bagel untoasted next to impossible.

I have learned to request it like: Blueberry bagel, plain, not toasted, no butter, just plain, yes, just put in the bag... good thanks.. have a nice day.


Dancing Moon Publishing House said...

Thanks now I'm blind.

Melanie said...

Is it possible that the DDE didn't understand when you wanted your bagel or english muffin toasted because you didn't refer to what you wanted properly? Maybe he/she was waiting to hear the words boast or moast come out of your mouth? Ever think of that?

stickboy said...

I agree with Melanie. Next time oder a shoefairy ladel, boasted, with greg and sleeze.

I bet you get what you wanted first time.

GV resident said...

This would ponder the question.. "WHY DO YOU KEEP GOING BACK?"

Elsi said...

I dont know what dunkin donuts you went to. I work at dunkin donuts and I go to college.We put your sweet and Low and sugars in your coffee and toast you english muffins. We are supose to ask you if you want it toasted though. Some times we are to busy to say whole sentences because we need to get your order done in 2 minutes no matter how much you order. It is easy to mess up orders when you have so many so it does happen. If you are a regular we know that and your food will be ready for you most of the time before you can say anything. As long as its the same order every day.So insted of complaining of your problems of one with one dunkin donuts and saying its all you should get rid of you attiude and be nicer go to a diffrent dunkin donuts and mabe you will have a better experence.

Jodi said...

I tottally agree with Elsi, I also work ata Dunkin Donuts, also in college and taking care if a 3 year old all at the same time and at our dunkin donuts we always put the surgers or sweetners in your coffee. Like Elsi said we have to get our orders in and out under 2 minutes before a certian time. We are back there getting the orders and making them right as the customer requested and maybe if the rude peolpe actually be nice to us will wont give you a hard time so just remember that.....